


Etiam Capillus Unus Habet Umbram Suam

by msflyk



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Couple, Creepy, Cute, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Family Reunions, Fanfiction, Fluff and Humor, Gift Giving, Introspection, Mask, Medical, Mnemosurgery (Transformers), Monster - Freeform, Nickel is a stubborn cutiepie, Nightmare, Nightmares, Prion colony, Random chronological order (in chapter 5), Slice of Life, The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye (IDW), The mnemosurgery is mentioned, Walker Texas Ranger parody mentioned, drunk people, happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25993972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msflyk/pseuds/msflyk
Summary: "Every single hair got his own shadow", everything leaves a trace and has its importance, especially the little things in a romantic relationship.In this story will be shown random moments of the relationship between Nickel, aka the minicon of the Decepticon Justice Division, and my OC Bustin, all set before the destruction of the Prion colony (the place where Nickel was born and raised).
Relationships: Nickel (Transformers)/OC
Kudos: 5





	1. Fera in Somnio

**Author's Note:**

> Before reading, please be aware that I'm a non-native writer, english is not my mother tongue (I'm Italian, actually). This is the first time I tried to translate one of my stories. I'm trying to do my best and I hope I'll do better in the next chapters :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The beast in the dream"

A dull noise caused the minicon to begin to awaken from her recharge with more than one grumble.

Turning under the blanket, still suspended in a state that was neither sleep nor wakeful, Nickel felt that soon the heat and torpor would win their battle against the awakeness. The very muffled - barely perceptible - and rhythmic sound of the pendulum in the corridor next to the bedroom came to their aid, leading her step by step to sink back into some pleasant dream. 

She reached out one hand to the other side of the bed instinctively, seeking the presence and the warmth of Bustin, her mate.

The second dull noise, louder than the first, came at the same time as she realized that her water-green digits had found nothing but emptiness.

Now fully awake, she got out of bed and looked around, also removing the blackout panels that in the morning prevented the light from the large windows -that occupied most of the bedroom walls- from waking them both up too early.

Everything seemed to be in order in the part of the garden that she saw, no one was on the balcony and Bustin could have got up for a trillion reasons, even though it was late at night. It could have been him who dropped something on the ground floor, she thought, and yet she felt strongly restless, a feeling that got even worse when the dull noise of before came back to her audios more prolonged and louder.

After a very brief reflection that urged her to open her medic's briefcase next to the bedside table and grab the scalpel -the closest thing to a weapon that she had- Nickel decided to leave the room carefully and to go downstairs.

Part of her suggested that she was acting irrationally - "Get a 'weapon' just beacuse you heard a noise, even though you know you are not alone in the house? Good thing your superiors and your collegues appreciate your so-called nerves. What if Bustin isn't feeling well? An unsheathed scalpel wouldn't help him much" - but the other one, who was predominant, led her to tighten her improper weapon more tightly by hearing other noises of objects falling to the ground.

"Looks like the noises are coming from the bathroom," she thought.

Maybe her thinking hadn't been wrong and her partner was really sick, she said to herself, so she decided to hurry up. 

How else to justify the noises, his absence, the fact that in the rooms and corridors she was passing through everything seemed to be in order and...

She interrupted her steps just before stepping on a liquid puddle the size of her hand, neither the first nor the last in a long series which, as she saw at a very quick glance, seemed to start from the main entrance of the house.

"What is  _ this _ ?..." exclaimed Nickel, graining her blue optics.

She could see the delicate luminescence of the drops and patches closest to the front door, very typical of the cybertronian life fluid, but she also noticed - with feelings that were now overcoming the restlessness and becoming something  _ far  _ worse - that those closer to her and to the bathroom were increasingly polluted by a dark, slimy looking matter to which she could give neither a name nor a specific color. Not even in the most crude medical manuals, dealing with the strangest diseases and the most terrible infections, she had ever seen anything like it.

"Bustin?..." she decided to call him, though mindful of how in certain horror movies actions like that meant trouble "Bustin, where are you?... are you okay?!"

Her partner's house, which had recently become hers too, seemed totally alien to her at the time. 

No longer a "safe nest" that she had quickly learned to know and appreciate, but the refuge of something monstrous and dangerous -wounded or not.

"Where is Bustin?" she asked herself again.

The scalpel trembled slightly in her hands as her audios picked up the sound of the pendulum upstairs chiming at three in the morning.

"What happened to him?"

She went even closer to the bathroom. The puddles widened, darker and darker, and she realized that the same liquid started to run under the door.

"What is-"

A faint moan through the door revealed to Nickel that her partner was in there. She would always recognize his voice, no matter how altered might be.

"Bustin!" exclaimed the minicon, venturing against the handle only to discover the door was locked. "Bustin, what's going on?!"

From the inside came another muffled moan.

" _ Nnniiickeeeel _ ..."

The variation in tonality between the normal one and a more gurgling and monstrous one, more consonant to a hellish creature than to a transformer, made Nickel jump backwards. 

The scalpel, which shone slightly because of the artificial lights in the garden, almost fell from her hand, and the dark liquid reached her wheels.

She was tempted to run away. She would still be in time to reach the door and leave that place, leaving to their fate whatever was behind that door...

"That's enough!"

Instead he decided to break through with three well-set shoulder straps, slipping miserably in the last one and avoiding falling only thanks to the readiness of reflexes that led her little white hands to cling to the jambs.

But when she noticed movement in front of her and lifted her optics, she could not hold back a scream.

What until a few hours earlier had been her partner's body as she knew it, was widening and deforming every passing nanoclick, giving shape to outgrowths that were stretching and giving birth to whole new limbs, including what looked like membranous wings with a network of disgustingly swollen and pulsating vital fluid pipes; Bustin's colours -predominantly white, black and turquoise- were disappearing, leaving room for shades which were neither girgie, nor purple nor dark rust, rather a mixture; pointed jaws opened on the large "tentacle" which had replaced his head and bent against the ceiling, while from the large gash which was just below the chest, dark matter continued to flow out as if it had been a small waterfall.

Paralyzed by the horrifying sight, Nickel watched helplessly till the end of the mutation of the creature that now occupied three-quarters of the bath - even though it was large, like the one they shared upstairs.

Only Bustin's black mask remained, of all his normal features, placed just under his jaws and partially absorbed by the "skin". Nickel saw that the eyes of white pixels flickered slightly when the creature turned in her direction.

"No. Not 'the creature', he's not a creature," she thought, as her feet moved forward on their own. "This is my mate. I have no idea what's happened to him or what's going on in general, but I can see that he's hurt and needs help."

She wouldn't have been able to say whether that courage came from the same spirit that he brought out as a trainee doctor or, more "trivially", from love; certainly there was only the fact that she approached her new patient with more decisive steps, heedless even of the sewage.

Perhaps she had gone insane.

Or maybe she had simply never woken up, that was a nightmare and on a subconscious level she knew it, even if she had a completely different impression.

"Bustin! You still recognize me, don't you?"

" _ Nnniiickeeeel _ ."

There was no longer a shred of normality in his voice -which Nickel had the impression of hearing resonating directly in the processor- either, but he recognized her, otherwise he wouldn't have pronounced her name; and every circuit in her body was convinced, or wanted to be convinced, that whatever Bustin had become would not harm her as long as he knew who she was.

"I don't know what happened, but... but it doesn't matter, okay?! We'll find... we'll find a way to fix this," said the minicon. "Starting with that wound!"

"Ggggo away... Nickel..."

In the monstrosity of that voice, Nickel distinctly felt a note of tiredness, and the fact that Bustin was still able to think clearly, which was something more than the "merely" recognizing her, led her to open every door she could get to looking for medicine and any tool that could help her slow down or stop the bleeding.

"No. You're hurt and I'm not leaving you here like this, and not just because I swore a fucking oath as a medic," she replied, determined, "There must be something for- aah! Let go of me  _ NOW! _ " she exclaimed when one of the monster's limbs grabbed her from behind at waist height and pulled her away.

Though Bustin's hand was enlarged and deformed, the gesture by which he caressed her face with absolute delicacy - even now that she was a monster - was way too familiar.

_ "Sleep, Nickel..." _

"Sleep?! How can I sleep in this situation?! Are you... are you..."

She felt her processor quickly become confused, her metal eyelids become heavy, her legs sag.

Before plunging into torpor and unconsciousness, however, she also felt that her last fear -falling into the dark sewage- was averted by a creepy limb of her mate, who quickly supported her.

  
  
  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  
  


The first thing Nickel saw when she opened the optics was the burnished metal ceiling of the bedroom, with the two LED strips, obviously off, which crossed in the middle dividing the ceiling in four squares.

She catapulted out of her bunk, noting first that Bustin's side on the bunk had been redone, just like every day - She was never been able to get up before him!.

Once the blackout panels were removed, being almost blinded by daylight, revealed to her that it must have been quite late. Her inner clock revealed to her shortly afterwards that it was almost lunchtime.

She saw her briefcase where she had left it, so she opened it quickly and saw that all the tools were clean and tidy in their place as she had left them the night before. After this, Nickel ran out of the bedroom, reached the stairs and rushed down them three by three.

Feeling the Spark in her throat and the optics moving feverishly trying to catch at least one tiny detail out of place, Nickel rushed towards the bathroom. There was no trace of the liquid she had seen, the door was in perfect conditions and, as always, the bathroom was tidy, white and immaculate.

"Is it possible that I imagined it all and it was all just a dream?!" She thought.

"Nicky? Dwarfie?"

Hearing Bustin's voice calling her, his  _ normal _ voice, metaphorically put wings at Nickel's wheels, and she reached the kitchen in seconds.

"Good morning! I admit I was almost starting to worry," said Bustin, who was wearing a very manly flower apron, tinkering with a pot full of long-sliced energon crystals and aluminum sauce. "It's practically lunchtime. All right, you're an intern and you need to practice, but in that clinic they make you work a little too hard and- ahem, what's going on?" he asked Nickel when she ripped his apron off and started examining his chassis and abdomen. "Some other time I'd say you want to make love, but your expression doesn't... Nicky? You're shaking," Bustin observed, approaching with the intention of holding her. "What's wrong?"

"Your values and your vital fluid," said Nickel, in a firm voice, backing out. "I want to see them. I want to see everything, or else... or else I..."

"All right, now I'm starting to get  _ really _ worried," said the other minicon, quietly obeying and showing his values to her "Is there a pandemic going on or something? Something escaped from a lab? Hope we don't end up like last night's movie, then..."

The horror film with the plague that turned people into monsters that Nickel - although she came back tired from the clinic and happy that the next day would be free - wanted to see, to be precise. 

It would have taken a long time for her to stop regretting that idea.

She went through one of her compartments and pulled out a sterile enerstud. "Bend your head forward, I'll make the withdrawal."

Bustin obeyed. "This is all very strange, but I guess you have your reasons, so I trust you."

The meekness with which Bustin made that gesture caused the hand with the enerstud to remain still in midair, and Nickel to remain motionless. Shortly afterwards she slowly retracted her hand without saying a word, being terribly ashamed of what she had been about to do and of her complete lack of reasoning.

"Sticking a needle in his neck because of  _ a nightmare? _ Really?!" she thought, putting enerstud back in its place.

"No... no, never mind. In fact, excuse me," said Nickel. "There's no pandemic going on or anything like that, it's just that I'm..." This time she didn't retract when he held her and caressed her. "A moron. I had a nightmare."

"It must have been a terrible nightmare. That's why you looked scared... but don't worry, it's all right," he murmured, resting his chin on her head.

"I wanted to stick a needle in your neck because of a nightmare! By Prion's shadow, how can you stand me?!"

"I was counting on the fact that if you didn't really have a good reason to do it, you would have stopped sooner as you did. I think very highly of you, Dwarfie."

"... 'Dwarfie' again? You're not so much taller than me! You're only a head and a half taller!" Nickel protested, looking at him with an air of reproach but intimately grateful for the words he had spoken to her and the fact that he didn't think she was a paranoid freak.

"That's right, when you look at it like that we're practically the same height," replied Bustin, without hiding a certain amusement in his voice.

"Hey! I remind you that the best energon lies in the smaller reserves!"

"Never said otherwise," smiled Bustin. "Feel better now?"

Nickel nodded. She wasn't shaking anymore. "I dreamt I woke up from a strange noise in the house... then I went downstairs, found stains of life fluid and of Primus-knows-what-they- were on the floor, bringing to the bathroom. Then I opened the door and I saw you become a freackin' hideous creature with a huge wound gushing that dark liquid and... and then you made me sleep and… and I was... let's say distressed. I was until now."

"No more horror movies before sleep" stated the other minicon.

Nickel did not protest, resting her head against his chassis. "The only good thing is that you recognized me even though you became that monster."

"I can't imagine a situation where I might not recognize you and you must  _ really _ have reason to be afraid of me, Nickel. I think you know that too. Otherwise your processor would have made you dream something a little different."

"Yes, you're right. But I swear, it felt so real, as much as I know it was absurd..."

A blaze rose from the pot that had been left recklessly on the stove throughout the speech, and after a series of screams of surprise both minicons tried to work it out.

"No, the lid on the flaming pot NO!" exclaimed Bustin.

The warning came too late, Nickel placed the lid and the contents of the pot exploded partially, invading the stove and part of the shelf next to it, causing a fire. Fortunately, the sprinkler system on the ceiling activated... watering the two minicons, which for a few seconds standed there like statues staring helplessly at the whole thing.

"The whole ground floor now is..." began to say Nickel.

"No, the system detected that the fire was here, so the system only went off here."

"Ah! Well, that's better," commented the minicon, feeling pretty embarrassed about the whole thing.

Moments later, unexpectedly, Bustin laughed. "We can both save a shower for today, we've already had one!"

Seeing him acting so calmly, Nickel smiled in turn. "Yes, it's true. Since the fire's out, I'm gonna go get some rags and..."

"No no, I don't want to deal with this right now. Let's take the pot off the stove and clean up there, we'll think about the water later if it hasn't dried itself. Let's go down the valley to that restaurant you liked, I'm kind of hungry!"

"And I'll pay for everything," Nickel said right away.

"Ni-"

"I almost burned down your kitchen," the minicon interrupted.

"There were two of us here, and it's  _ our _ kitchen anyway," replied Bustin, quietly. "You haven't settled in yet, huh?"

"No, that's not it, I've settled in, really. You made me bring everything I had in my dorm room and also everything they sent me from home when they knew I was moving, six boxes..." she sighed, massaging his forehead. "And my stuffed animals, and that purple hairy rug..."

"It's a beautiful rug."

Nickel raised her eyes to the ceiling. "I know it isn't."

"And it's longer than you, Dwarfie!" exclaimed the other minicon, running out of the kitchen with a laugh.

"Again?! If I catch you I'll put you down!" cried Nickel, pulling a wrench out of a compartment and running after a fugitive who, as she knew, had probably already flown into the garden.

As he reached the front door she concluded that the one she had have been just a nightmare, after all... and at that moment, it and the beast within that seemed something far away.

  
  
  
  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooook, well, thank you to everyone who read this! :)  
> If you're curious about Bustin' looks, you may check the drawings below on my DeviantArt profile :)
> 
> http://fav.me/ddysiie
> 
> http://fav.me/ddypco2
> 
> http://fav.me/ddzd694


	2. Inter Sidera Versor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I move among the stars"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember: as I said in the previous chapter, this story shows random moments of Nickel and Bustin relationship. Meaning, there are jump cuts between one chapter and the next one, and the chapters do not necessarily follow a *precise* chronological order. For example, I can anticipate you that he 5th one will be set in the past (compared to this chapter and the others).  
> Thanks to who left me kudos in the first chapter :)

The one that Nickel could see from the large bedroom balcony was a rather enviable view.

Her house was situated high up on one of the hills surrounding the small town where she had studied - and where she now worked. 

Looking down, she could enjoy the lights that made the valley teeming with life. At the same time, however, the position of the house did not allow the light pollution to spoil the spectacle offered by the night sky, particularly clear that evening, and full of stars that pulsated slightly like many small Sparks.

Quiet atmosphere, indeed. Such a pity that Nickel's Spark wasn't as quiet, and not only because she was mentally reviewing the list of everything that had to be put in the suitcase for the umpteenth time.

"The spare datapad for notes!" exclaimed, slamming one hand against her forehead.

"You put two of them the third time you checke-  _ ouch _ . I'm lucky it was a fist and not one of your wrenches," was all Bustin said, massaging his chassis as soon as she hit it.

"Aaaah, you!...you know I do that when people suddenly come after me! My cousins did it in an attempt to scare me, you know!" exclaimed Nickel, a little sorry for the punch despite the tone of reproach. "And if you were tall as them, I would have caught you in the face!"

Bustin smiled. "That's because they're dwarves too-"

"I can still do it, you know!" exclaimed Nickel, crossing her arms in front of her chassis.

"I called you twice, anyways," said Bustin. "But you didn’t seem to hear me."

The statement dissolved Nickel's feistiness. "Really? ...I was lost in my thoughts. I'm sorry."

She quietly let herself be led on one of the two outdoor beds, then sat down next to her mate. Perfectly aware that she was impulsive, she sometimes wondered how Bustin, who was not impulsive at all, could be okay with such a behavior - even  _ appreciate it _ .

"This morning you seemed happy to go to that conference. The fact that the professor thought you can replace him is a good thing on so many levels," Bustin said. "Because it means you're getting noticed at work and you're doing it well. Aaand for three days you won't have to beta-read my song-fic on Wallop Prion Ranger!"

Wallop Prion Ranger, a TV series that Bustin knew by heart: Nickel heard him anticipate the dialogues lines many times. 

Remembering her partner's clumsy attempts to imitate the protagonist's roundhouse kicks, -action that usually ended up with some broken knick-knacks on the floor- almost made her smile despite the tension.

"Here, this is a good thing," Nickel joked. "Anyway, about the idea I'm as happy as I was this morning, and I  _ want _ to go. It's just that… you know, it's a pretty important thing, there'll be a lot of common transformers and not a lot of other minicons, and those few will be famous people, while  _ I'm not _ , and... and it'll be the first time I'll ever get out of Prion!"

Nickel had always lived the simple life of a simple person who was born into a simple family, which wasn't a bad thing at all; but that was why, while she was happy at the idea of a journey among the stars, she couldn't deny that made her a little nervous. Moreover, her expectations and fears about her own abilities - unfounded fears, only due to an understandable anxiety - did not help her to feel less tense.

"The conference takes place in a quiet area, thanks to the Extranet we've already had a look together, right?" Bustin reminded her. "And you and the others will stay in a good hotel: nice rooms, lots of facilities and a top buffet. One of the best in the far Crystal City".

"You mentioned you'd been there a while ago, didn't you?"

Bustin nodded. "Long before we met, yes. But the management hasn't changed, and the quality either, I think."

"Were you with anyone of your family?"

The question arose spontaneously, knowing that their beautiful house on the hill was partly due to the fact that Bustin's family was -  _ or "had been" _ \- wealthy, though not millionaire, so it was therefore plausible that Bustin’s sire and carrier might have taken their sparkling on vacation or something similar, but she quickly regretted bringing the matter up, remembering that it was not his favorite subject.

Which was understandable, since he had hinted that he was the only one who was still alive in his family.

Nickel didn’t know exactly what had happened but, by linking the few elements she had been able to extrapolate from the times the subject had come up, she had concluded that Bustin's entire family - including him - had been involved in an accident, and that Bustin had saved himself but had been irreparably disfigured in the face: that would explain why he didn’t ever take off his mask, even with her, not if she could see him. 

In some...  _ rather intimate _ ... moments, Nickel had been able to hold the mask in her hand, but she had always been blindfolded, and, to be fair, Bustin had made sure that in those moments she had had something else on her mind than that.

Not even the reassurances that she would have loved him anyway, even if his faceplate had been a disaster, had served to convince him. He could even eat without taking it off, thanks to the technology that allowed the mask’s "cells" to move around while still hiding what was underneath.

"Nah! I wasn’t," replied Bustin. "Back to the subject, I understand that you're tense, but I'm sure everything will be fine. If the professor thought you weren't up to the task, he wouldn't have chosen you: if he did, it means that he has no doubts about your expertise and that you will be able to keep up. I'm sure of that too."

"But you're not a doctor and you don't know how medical things are like," Nickel replied, a little quieter but still a bit anxious. "It's not just the ones you used to help me revise for the exams anymore”.

"I don't know how medical things are like but I know how  _ you _ are like. That's good enough for me."

"You're not just saying that because it's me or to keep me quiet, aren't you?"

Bustin shook his head. "If I didn't think that, I'd compliment you on other things. The strength you have in your right fist, for example!"

"I didn't punch you on purpose! I mean, I did, but at the same time I didn't!" the minicon defended herself, while her mate laughed, "And don't laugh!... what a jerk" she mumbled, letting herself be held in his servos.

Bustin obviously didn't mind the insult. "My bitchiness is another thing you won't have to deal with in the next three days."

"I'll call you as soon as I get into my hotel room."

"That's all I expected."

"And woe betide you if you forget to take care of my seedlings!" Nickel warned him, pointing to a series of jars by the parapet. The technorganic seedlings were one of the things her relatives had sent her from home when she had moved to Bustin’s place.

"Anything you say, boss!" he exclaimed, doing a military gesture, "And if you see any fanfic cues about Wallop in the conference or around there, send them to me. Shall we go in the berth? You've got an early start tomorrow, so it'd be good if you could recharge at the usual time."

"The usual time is an hour away," said Nickel, puzzled, only to realize, "But you did say 'in the berth'..."

"The importance of details, see?" he nodded as they returned home determined to make up for what would be missing in the next three days because of distance.

  
  
  
  
  
  


.::  _ Evening of the next day _ ::.

Bringing the datapad next to the audio receptors, Nickel eagerly waited for Bustin to answer the call. Although she had arrived at the hotel about half an hour earlier, she felt she already had something to tell him.

The trip, which lasted several hours, had gone well. In the spaceship she had got to know her professor's Prionian colleagues, she talked to them and, to her relief, they all turned out to be very friendly and polite people - partly due to the fact that her superior had spoken highly of her to them. She would have been able to put them in their place if they had been rude, but everything had gone smoothly, and that was that.

Being well integrated into the group had also helped her feel much more enthusiastic than intimidated by the imposing and pompous architecture of Crystal City, which delivered exactly what its name said: tall crystal buildings, winding streets and suspension bridges, lower buildings often rounded in certain parts and, above all, full of windows. 

It had been interesting to see something so different from the usual, but it hadn't taken her long to realize that, as fascinating as that style might be, she preferred the simplicity of Prion's architecture. Also, there weren’t a lot of techno-organic plants, which in opinion was a bit sad.

The only discordant note so far had been that, when she arrived at the hotel, she was told that unfortunately -due to a misunderstanding, thay said- the room where she was supposed to stay was not available. But that was fortunate too, and she understood this soon afterwards, because they had put one of the most beautiful suites in the hotel at her disposal - as a participant in that conference, she and the others were considered "important" guests, they told her.

Result: at that moment she was on the penultimate floor, lying on a bunk in which twenty minicon would be wide, and she was contemplating entering the energon hot tub next to a huge window to watch the artificial sun set over Crystal City skyline.

"Come on, pick up the datapad!" Nickel thought, beginning to drum with his fingers on the edge of the tub.

  
  


\-  _ Dwarfie. How's it going? Is everything all right? _ –

"Yeah! Where were you?! It took you forever to answer!" she scolded him, even as she smiled at the sound of his voice.

\-  _ It's because tonight I'm on call at the Crawling Mist! _ –

While Nickel had studied as a medic and was aiming for a permanent position in the clinic where she currently worked, her partner had never shown any interest in looking for a steady job, preferring to work as a freelance technician - with a good number of regular clients who guaranteed regular income - and, as he did during his studies, to work as a on-call bartender at the Crawling Mist, a nice club in their town. All choices that Nickel had never criticized, she was happy that her boyfriend was willing to work and that his jobs were to his taste, especially the latter, which allowed him to meet a lot of people.

"Ath this time, already?... oh! I forgot, Prion time is three hours ahead," Nickel recalled.

–  _ Yeah! But that's all right, I just went on break a little while ago! _ –

Nickel was about to speak again, but she was interrupted by the notice that room waiter - a minibot to be precise, a kind of transformer often employed for certain types of work - was outside the door and had been instructed to deliver something to her.

"I didn't order anything," said Nickel, puzzled.

\-  _ If I were you, though, I'd go and see what it is _ . –

Something in the tone of her mate persuaded Nickel to let the minibot in. The room waiter graciously handed her a medium-sized parcel and took his leave after a gentle bow.

"You had something to do with this, Bustin?" she said in the datapad as she opened the package.

A delightful little jar with a plant of crystal Vosnian bluebells in a pearly pink shade appeared to her optics. A flower that she, as a lover of certain things, knew to be difficult to find outside of Vos herself.

\-  _ Another seedling to take care of when you'll go to the next conference, if you like it _ . –

Nickel couldn't say a word, busy opening a box next to the jar. Inside it there were two arm ornaments which, though simple in workmanship, were visibly expensive.

\-  _ Incoming blame for the secondo gift in three nanocklicks, two, one... _ -

  
  


"You don't have to... I mean, the bluebells were already..." were the first words of Nickel, who seemed to have lost the ability to line up words and had dangerously shiny optics. "I-I love everything, I swear, I thank you  _ so much _ , but you shouldn't-"

\-  _ But I want to. I want to make a gift to my partner, who with her commitment is going up in the world and deserves this and more _ \- replied Bustin -  _ And I'm glad you like it, Dwarfie. _ –

"How... how did you do that? I mean, how did you predict... and I got to my room five minutes ago and it's not even the one that was supposed to be, for it wasn't available!"

\-  _ I'm a major shareholder in that hotel, so it wasn't difficult at all. _ –

"Oh, come on!" snorted Nickel.

\-  _ I did some work there when I was still a student. When we first met I was already quite advanced in the course, if you remember _ \- said Bustin -  _ I met some of the hotel staff and stayed in touch with several of them, so they gave me a little help in organizing this surprise _ . –

Nickel concluded that the explanation made sense. "I get it. But really, I thank you very much, I liked it very much, I just... I can't help but think that I can't reciprocate in the same way, neither now nor, perhaps, ever".

\-  _ You and I have been over this several times before... _ –

"It's not so much a question of shanix, it's... it's just... Bustin, the last gift I gave you was a pair of garden gnomes!" exclaimed the minicon, handing herself over to the memory. "I couldn't pick a decent gift to save my life!"

\-  _ Are you kidding me? They're perfect! They resemble us. She can barely reach his shoulder. _ –

"You're talking like this because I'm not home, but remember I'll be back the day after tomorrow! And I'll get my revenge!" Nickel warned him.

\-  _ And I'm looking forward to it. Home is a little too quiet without you protesting about what your colleagues are up to, what I'm up to, or cuz my hand washing time is less than a minute! "Palm against palm! Like thi-is! Left goes on the right! Then the right on the left one!..." _ –

"No, the hand washing song  _ NO _ , please!" exclaimed Nickel, needlessly as she was laughing and he could hear it.

  
  


\- " _ And then rub it well right here! That's it, that's it, that's it! _ " –

After a few seconds of song, Nickel noticed background noises on the other end of the line similar to choirs, or invocations, or something like that. She tried to listen better but couldn't, so she asked for explanations.

"I hear something like… don't know, choirs, right where you are now, and I don't understand..."

\-  _ Cube game between East Prion and West Prionia is still going on, it's the last ten minutes and they're all pretty busy here, for a change! _ –

"I've never really understood Cube" huffed Nickel "I don't know why people are all so crazy about it. Even my professor's colleagues are into it, they told me on the trip..."

\-  _ Did everything go smoothly? _ –

"Yes, absolutely! Now I'll tell you!"

The phone call went on for another ten minutes before Nickel decided to end it. She'd have more time and more things to tell him the next day or on her way back, but she'd lie if she said she didn't want to continue the call indefinitely. 

She even called herself a fool for this reason, because she missed her boyfriend even though she had just finished the call: it was a silly little girl's thing and she wasn’t silly, nor a little girl. She was biologically an adult for a long time, she had a career and a strong-willed character, and she knew she could easily be without him for a day, three, a week or months if necessary.

"I could" thought the minicon, as she looked at the Vosnian bluebells "But I prefer to be with him in every way, when I can choose".


	3. Mens Sana In Corpore Sano (...or maybe not)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Healthy mind in a healty body (or maybe not)"

The possibility of ending up having to give medical help to friends, family and acquaintances and the need to remain lucid despite her more or less strong emotional attachment was one of the first things she had been told about both when she was still studying and when she had started working in the clinic

Nickel could not say she had great problems about that, it could be said that she was quite accustomed. She came from a rather large family - she hadn’t brothers or sisters, but had a large number of uncles, aunts and cousins - in which there was a good number of crazy daredevils that she had had the opportunity to treat even before studying as a doctor; mostly it was a matter of minor wounds and some bruises, all typical of Prionians from the "countryside" with the tendency to live and play outside. 

Obviously, first during the internship and then from the inside, Nickel had dealt with much more serious things ranging from more or less serious diseases to injuries from aggression -Prion was a peaceful colony but not even the most peaceful place in the cosmos, as long as there was free will, would never have been free from crime- and accidents.

Some accidents had also happened to people she knew by sight, and the most relevant case had been the consequence of a clandestine rally in which five of his former classmates had been involved: one had lost control and ended up on top of another, and then a ripple effect involving a dozen people had been created. In that case Nickel remembered sthat he had puffed just right for their unconsciousness - "This is Prion, not Velocitron!" - but of course she had done his job as a surgeon without blinking an optic.

"Surgeon" indeed. That was the branch she liked and in which she specialized, “You could not be an expert doctor of everything”, she used to think. Usually, in her opinion, who tried to be an expert in everything ended up being an expert in _nothing_.

"So the question is, why did they ask for me in the psychiatric ward?" she thought, as the elevator took her to the fourth floor of the clinic.

Her scores in the initial exams had made her eligible to choose almost anything when she had to decide what her specialization would be, so if she wanted she could have chosen to study as a mnemosurgeon and work as one, but she hadn’t. To be completely honest she considered the idea rather frightening: no one should have been able to act on other people’s brain modules at the levels in which mnemosurgeons operated. She recognized their medical usefulness in certain cases but she was still concerned about those practices.

When the elevator doors opened, she was welcomed by the head of psychiatry, which made it even more bizarre.

"Oh, here you are. I'm glad you were so quick, Doctor".

"That you wanted me here is so strange that I couldn't do anything else but hurry," Nickel replied, "Need help with a patient?

The foremech nodded, "We can say yes even if, truth to be told, it's more of an attempt... it's useless regardless, alas, but when you take an oath..." he said, more to himself than to her, "I'll explain it to you on the way”.

The psychiatry ward did not look like an ugly dungeon, there was the right amount of space and lighting, but Nickel felt uncomfortable anyway, wondering how many rooms were occupied and for what reasons. Some cases required time and more than one session of mnemosurgery to be solved or simply to get better.

"The fact is: mnemosurgery can do a lot," began the mnemosurgeon "But it is not the panacea that we would like that to be. Spark and processor, science says that we are all there, but having a rather long career behind me I learned that unfortunately certain wounds can go further. Do you believe in the concept of "soul", Doctor?"

"Honestly I don't know how to answer you... and still, I don't understand why I am here" replied Nickel, less and less calm "Do you want to make a useless attempt, no matter what? And if it is, why am I-”

"You know Mr. Copper, don't you? A month ago he entered the clinic as a janitor".

Hearing that name surprised Nickel. "Yes, I know him, he has also been my classmate for a while".

She had met that minicon during the first year of her medical studies, soon beginning to consider him not a friend but an acquaintance with whom to have a chat and talk about their studies and exams and all related. At a certain point she had the impression that he had developed a crush for her but, at the end of the first vorn of studies, Copper had abandoned the course and they had lost sight of each other, meeting again only a month earlier at the hospital. 

Nickel didn't mind meeting him again, for a few days they had some small talk and drank some hot energon together during the breaks... until Copper, at a certain point, looked at her in the optics and told her how much he had always liked her and still did. Heard that, Nickel made it clear that she was happily engaged, yet Copper had somehow obtained her address the next day and sent her flowers home. It was embarrassing for her, to say the least, especially since Bustin had been present at the delivery.

__

_ "I swear he did it all by himself! I only chatted with him during the breaks, and when he told me about his feelings I told him that I’m engaged, I turned him down, and surely I didn't give him our address!... by Prion shadow, what’s gotten into that idiot?" _

__

_ "I can see why, you know: any person with good taste in matters of femme would send you flowers". _

__

_ "Bustin, that's not funny. It's embarrassing, and I don't understand how you can react this way! Dammit, if someone other femme hit on you like that, I'd make her swallow a wrench!" _

__

_ "I'm not saying that I like what happened, but I trust you and I know that I have nothing to fear. It wouldn't make much sense to make a scene and be jealous because someone sent you flowers that you didn't even want, Dwarfie". _

Luckily, Bustin was a reasonable person and had absolute and well-founded trust in her, so no problems about that, and the next day Nickel had a rather tough conversation with Copper. She had managed to get him to give up, but he had never spoken to her again, and from then they had barely crossed paths. Nothing that Nickel regretted: chatting with him during the breaks wasn't worth all that stress.

"That's it. So maybe you wondered why he missed work for almost a week?..." the professor asked her.

"Did he? No, I hadn't noticed. Except in the first few days, we no longer had to deal with each other, but I don't understand..."

Then she stopped. She made a connection which, in spite of the idiocy shown by her former study partner, she would never have wished or thought to do.

"Won't you tell me that Copper _ is here? _ "

The other minicon, very serious in the face, nodded: "He was found in one of the suburbs of our town. He was wandering around there in a very serious state of confusion and aggressiveness at bestial levels, from which he has not yet recovered, shouting words that are absolutely meaningless”.

"But what...what...how?" Nickel stunned, "How did it happen?! Do you know anything about it?"

The foreman shook his head. "No one has the slightest idea how it happened, where it happened exactly and why. No medicine worked and our best mnemosurgeons, among whom -without false modesty- I can count myself, have not yet managed to do anything useful. It’s like trying to get life fluid out of a stone, even though we have already dug deeper than would have been medically wise. All we found in that poor fellow’s brain module was chaos, and I must add that some of the youngest people to have operated on him also felt rather bad afterwards" he said "Unfortunately I have already seen cases of transformers reduced in this way, some aggressive, some in a vegetative state. It is a rare but far from unique phenomenon: it was already known when I started my studies. In the past, even more than a rather eminent transformer has been affected... the proof that diseases do not spare anyone, isn’t it?"

The idea made Nickel feel rather destabilized. She was aware that there were some diseases that were difficult to handle or not at all curable, but it was never pleasant to hear that an acquaintance had gone completely out of his mind.

"So... why am I here?"

"You are one of the last attempts to penetrate the chaos barrier and find something to hold on to. If this works, Mr. Copper's brain module treatment would start from this. It is always hoped that the sight of friends, family and acquaintances can successfully do it," the doctor explained.

"I guess you've already tried the first two categories”.

"I confirm. We tried, even though I had understood very early what we’re dealing with, because our oath requires us to make every possible attempt to help our patients... also because, in case of declared incurability, we know very well what’s the ‘favorite’ choice their legal guardians tend to make".

"Euthanasia. And usually, in cases like this it doesn't take them long to get the procedure started," said Nickel, in a rather neutral tone. "If patients are no longer functional in any way and there's not the slightest chance that they'll be again, it's considered an act of mercy. So what exactly do you want me to do, doctor?"

"This is Mr. Copper's room," said the foreman, pointing to a door covered by a light-colored blackout panel. "Once the panel is removed, he will see you. All you have to do is stay here, maybe try to call him. Hopefully he’ll have a reaction different than usual..."

"But you don’t count on it”.

"No".

Nickel hesitated only briefly before telling the other minicon to open the panel, at least in the name of the oath she had taken, like all doctors, and in which she believed.

An animalistic scream, then Copper -or which had been Copper only a few days ago- started to growl and shout while banging his helm agains the wall. The poor minicon was totally mad, aggressive, tightened in a sort of straitjacket, and he repeatedly threw himself against the door right in front of Nickel, who in spite of herself jumped backwards.

" _ N'GHFTNYTH MGEPNOG! _ " shouted the minicon " _ Iä! Iä! N'GHFTNYTH MGEPNOG! _ "

She had been prepared for what she would see, and yet everything was even worse than Nickel had imagined. There was not an ounce of reasoning in those optics, which expression reflected the chaos in Copper’s brain module, and the rest of the minicon's snappy movements and its rambling verses showed only a mixture of bestial aggression and terror. 

Nickel decided to get strong anyway and try to call him.

"Copper-"

" _ Ephaiah Mgehye! Ephaiah N'gha! _ " yelled the crazy minicon, with the visible intention of trying to break his helm against the door or the walls, fortunately made of suitable materials to avoid it " _ Ahhai nilgh'rishuggogg ephaiah uh'eor Chhaos... _ ".

Nickel tried to call him again and to attract his attention, to no avail: he kept shouting and growling his strange verses, which at some points seemed almost like real words in an unknown language.

"As I imagined and feared," said gloomily the mnemosurgeon, "No difference at all. You've done what you had to do, Doctor, you can go".

Nickel didn't make him say it twice, only eager to get away, and she took her leave with a brief nod by reaching the elevator as fast as she could. She could do absolutely nothing for her former classmate, staying there was useless and she hoped to get that thought out of her mind just as she had learned to get his patients' pains and miseries out of her own emotional sphere: it was necessary to do it - to a certain extent - to avoid being consumed by the suffering of others.

" _ N'ghftnyth, h'Uaaahgof'n ng f'Gof'nn f'Gof'nn ephaim gahnnn ngluii! _ " she heard again the poor former janitor " _ Ng Mgepogor R'luhor ch'ephaiah! N'ghftnyth! N'gha! N'gha! N'GHAAAAA _ !"

***

The first thing Nickel did when she returned home several hours later was to head over to the bar cabinet and serve herself a cube of extra strong energon, as she often did after particularly tough days, and that was undoubtedly the case. As the hours passed she had concluded that she would get over Copper's thing soon enough, but seeing a minicon in those conditions had not been pleasant.

She heard Bustin's footsteps a short distance away from her. Not being alone in the house was more than comforting at certain times.

"Welcome back. Tough day?"

"Tough enough," said the minicon, emptying the cube with a long sip, and then sighing. "You know Copper?"

Bustin looked at her questioningly. "Who?

"The idiot who sent me flowers".

"Oh, him! He's come to annoy you again? I know that you are accustomed to handle certain things by yourself, but if you need help, tell me".

"No, I don't need help, I don't think he can bother me anymore. You see, he..." she sighed nervously. “He's in psych ward at the moment, and the foreman is quite convinced that there's no hope he’ll recover. After seeing him, I'm quite convinced of that myself.

"In psych ward? Really?" Bustin was astonished, "What happened to him?".

"They found him wandering madly in the suburbs. I saw him because, in cases like that, mnemosurgeons always hope to ‘move’ something in the patients’ brain module by showing them people they know" Nickel quickly explained "They had noticed us while we were together at the clinic’s cafe, before he told me about his feelings etc., so they thought that  _ maybe _ ... but it was useless. He kept shouting incomprehensible things while trying to break his head. That was awful".

"I am sorry both for that poor fellow and for you who saw him like that. I think I’ll drink a little high grade too, the subject calls for it," said Bustin, getting a cube himself. "Do they have any idea how he got that way? An illness, some trauma, I don't know..."

"If it had been that, they could have solved it with medicine or mnemosurgery. The foreman made a speech about the wounds of the soul or something like that, then he asked me if I believe in the concept of the soul and..." he huffed "From a man of science I didn't expect it, but, well… after what he saw and what I saw...".

"About the concept of soul, what did you say to him?"

"The truth, which is that I don’t know. But I see it more as an  _ organic  _ concept: our ‘being’ resides in the brain module and the Spark, and that is what ends in the Allspark, assuming that neoprimalists are right and it exists," said Nickel "What do you think?

"I think that it is useless to ask questions about concepts that we cannot understand. As far as we know, Primus, Unicron, ourselves and everything that ‘exists’ could be just a very long dream of some almighty entity and nothing more".

Nickel raised her optics to the ceiling. "I should have expected a strange answer like this from you. Now that I have talked about the whole thing, however, I feel better".

"That’s why I’m here”.

"To think that I started complaining as soon as I got back and I didn't even say "hello" to you..."

"You're still on time!"

Nickel smiled. "You have so much patience and you are so nice to me that sometimes I wonder if you are real".

Bustin took her hand gently and caressed her. "I think that my best and truest part is you and everything about you, Nickel. Anyway, are you in the mood to go out tonight?"

"To go- oh! You’re right, we decided we'd go to the Crawling Mist together this evening," she recalled. "Yes. Yes, we can go, I think going out would be perfect to unwind a bit".

"Tomorrow we're both home tomorrow, so if it's okay, we can party until dawn!"

"Again?!" exclaimed Nickel, "desperate" but only in a manner of speaking, since the club and the type of clientele didn't displease her "Oh well, just don't end up dancing over the bar again...".

"That, if it goes well, it will happen for sure!"

"At least this time leave the vuvuzela at home, otherwise-"

"...‘Or else’ you'll steal it from me  _ once again _ to blow into it while you dance?""

Nickel gave him a dirty look. "Before we got together these things didn't happen, I was a serious person,  _ YOU  _ misled me".

"Yes, I did!" nodded Bustin, "I'm going to get ready.

"Don't take two hours as usual!...thinking that those who have to stay in the bathroom for an eternity should be us femmes..." commented Nickel, seeing him disappear up the stairs.

Much of the day had perhaps been tough but, fortunately for here, there was someone who was always ready to lighten her existence.

Bustin was nice, caring, understanding, intelligent, quiet, her parents liked him, they had a nice house and they both had a good career: it would have been the perfect atmosphere to become conjunx and start a family, an idea that she had already brought up on more than one occasion, especially since the internship was over. Bustin wasn't convinced yet, but Nickel was sure that he would understand that they could really do it... sooner or later.

Pushing the negative thoughts, the people she couldn't help and the words she couldn't understand, Nickel went in turn to prepare herself imagining a serene and happy future with her fine work, herbeloved companion and their future children in Prion colony. 

What could possibly go wrong?

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Errr... everything, Nickel, everything :'D (Black Block Consortia destroys Prion in the canon, you know).  
> Thank you to whoever is following this story :)


	4. Carpe Diem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Seize the day"

"What the fuck is wrong with this thing now?!" Nickel slammed, looking discouraged at the blue screen of her datapad equipped with a holographic keyboard.

The poor minicon began to shake the device, hoping for a miracle that would solve her problem. Everything was fine during the morning lessons, but now that she was trying to use it to study her texts and notes on techno-organic connective tissues - in addition to deepening them with various researches in order to get a good grade on the exam that she should have given in days - she could only see the blue screen.

More and more desolate, she put her head on the datapad with a puff. She was in a public place -to be precise in the café of what, in earthly terms, would have been a large university campus- but she didn't bother to hide her frustration: that place was as familiar to her as her single room in the dormitory, and anyways it was normal to see people wandering hysterically around the campus because of their upcoming exams. 

Someone was heard to clear their voice a short distance away from her. 

"Sometimes datapads go all funny, I know something about this myself".

After a moment of frowning, Nickel quickly lifted her helm off the table and looked up, finding herself crossing the two white ovals entirely made of pixels that were in place of the optical sensors of her interlocutor; a bizarre detail, to the point that it took her a few moments before she was able to turn away the “optics” and see the rest.

Significantly tall -a trait accentuated by the straight posture of his shoulders and back- the minicon that had spoken to her had a nice design, extremely simple and mostly rounded. The white body was partially covered by the apron with the café logo and, while one arm was folded behind his back, the other held a tray with the cube of smooth energon that she had ordered just before. 

Nickel barely noticed the name plate - recited "Bustin" - pinned to the left side of the apron, because in a short time her attention was captured again by his face, which she realized was completely hidden by a mask. Nevertheless he was not inexpressive, thanks to the pixels he was smiling at her. 

"I think the worst case I saw was a while ago: a pad ‘stolen by electric monkeys who used it to visit questionable S&M sites’: never seen so many viruses in one system. They must have been really terrible beasts... or a very bad excuse" continued the minicon, placing a paper napkin on the coffee table and then the energon cube.

"It was probably the second one," said Nickel, with the feeling that her glossa had moved before questioning her brain module. "Unless the electric monkeys are secretly planning to conquer Prion with their whips and spaceships, and are looking for inspiration… oh, what am I saying?!" she exclaimed, covering her faceplate with one hand while Bustin laughed with gusto. "Ignore me, it's the stress of the upcoming exam, I don't know what-".

"This wicked monkeys thing will go right into the next chapter of my Wallop Prion Ranger fanfic, I'm telling you".

"Fanfiction on Wallop? Are you serious?!" exclaimed Nickel, grazing her optics.

That conversation had gotten pretty weird, yet she didn't want to end it. After the initial impact she curiously felt more comfortable than she should have felt talking about S&M monkeys and fanfics with a stranger in a public place.

"It has many and many comments per chapter," nodded Bustin. "It's called ‘Wallop's New Adventures’, you can easily find it on the net”.

"You didn't have a lot of imagination when you opted for that title but, if the tone of the story allows you to stick the monkeys in, you have compensated with the plot... I guess" commented Nickel "So, if I understand correctly you maybe know how to fix this thing?" she asked Bustin, indicating the datapad "Are you studying in technicians faculty?”

"I’m in the fifth level out of seven, yes" he confirmed "And you?"

"Second level of medicine".

"I understand. That's a tough one, the majority of stressed-out students who come here have an upcoming medicine exam".

"As I’ll have in a few days, and that stupid pad isn't working," huffed Nickel. "Now I guess you're going to do one of your weird technician numbers that are inaccessible to ordinary transformers?”

Words harsher than Nickel would have wanted to say, and she felt a little sorry: although the “showing off “ of some technical students was a real -and quite annoying- trend on campus, Bustin's attitude hadn't been "move over and let the genius solve it".

"Luckily, however, he doesn't seem to be upset... or maybe he's actually looking at me badly from under the mask," Nickel thought.

"I guess it’s enough to tell you to turn off the datapad, remove the external storage disk that I notice being inserted and then turn it back on again" he said, with perfect calm, and then waited for her to follow those simple instructions "This model has a factory defect that, if there is an external media inserted, makes it to look for the operating system  _ there _ when it is turned on; but there’s no operating system in the external media, so the pad gives the blue error screen. It is nothing serious: so that it doesn't happen anymore, just remember to insert the external storage after turning on the datapad".

"Or to change datapad directly" added Nickel, looking at the screen of the device that had returned to be fully functional.

Bustin laughed briefly. "Maybe it's a bit drastic".

"Yes. Yeah. Thanks for your help," said Nickel. "I wasn't sure you'd... you know, after what I said before about the technicians...".

"Many people in that faculty have a tendency to show off, you said the truth. However, I thought that by telling you how to solve the problem I would have left you something more concrete than a "W-O-A-H! This is maaagic! Who knows how he did it". If you ever need a hand in the future, keep in mind that from today I will always be on duty at this hour. Till yesterday I worked the late shift".

"That's why I've never seen him before" understood Nickel. "Me too. Ahem. Not in the sense that I'm on duty here, in the sense that at this hour I'm always here too, usually to study".

"So I will see you often. I'm glad, femme whose name I don't know yet!"

"It’s Nickel".

"Nickel" repeated the other minicon "Now I know what name I have to put in the notes at the end of the next chapter. For your idea about the monkeys, you know".

"NO! No, there's no need, you can pretend it’s yours, really...and don't laugh!" she exclaimed, unheeded.

"All right, you're going to become famous another time. If you need anything, call me, Nickel," he concluded "You've read the name tag".

"I'd say he noticed that I looked him up and down before," thought Nickel. 

"All right," she said, watching him turn on his heels to go back to the counter "... listen, what do you feel like doing after work today?”

Once again her glossa had metaphorically moved on its own but, unlike before, in that case she discovered that her processor was completely in agreement. After all, why shouldn't it? Bustin's armor design was cute and he seemed like an interesting kind of guy, so there was nothing wrong with seizing the moment and asking him out: he was practically a stranger, but getting to know people was what the dates were made for.

If he had said no, well, it would have been ok... but the way he had behaved made her doubt that his answer could have been negative.

"Nothing I can't do tomorrow," said Bustin, "I'm off in a couple of hours”.

"And I was going to leave in a couple of hours once I finished here" smiled Nickel, pointing to the datapad.

"Perfect!”

So, Nickel was able to start focusing on the techno-organic connective tissues while drinking from the energon cube with a long straw. The two hours passed very quickly, so quickly that it seemed to her that only twenty minutes had passed. 

“Sometimes time becomes a strange thing,” she thought.

They went out of the cafè together, and Nickel concluded that he was cute even without the apron. "Maybe we can go for a walk..."

"It's fine," smiled Bustin.

"In a street nearby there is a kiosk that serves energon with liquid nitrogen, it's very good, we could pass by there if... hey" Nickel frowned "What's going on?".

Until a moment before the noise of chattering had surrounded them, but now there was a deadly silence around them, and people seemed to be immobilized, crystallized in the actions they were doing just before everything stopped.

As familiar faceplates that they were, those of the minicons that Nickel could see were changing, becoming more and more grotesque to the point of resembling a mask of themselves; streets that she knew well became distorted and filled with dark shadows, artificial lights began to flash rapidly and buildings began to rise and curve, looming over all of them, while the colors of the whole environment degraded into their rottenest and most disgusting shades.

"Bustin, do you see this too?!..." she exclaimed, turning towards him and touching his arm "Bus-"

Bustin's arm fell to the ground with a thud, then the rest of the minicon’s body began to shake and fell apart. 

That’s when she saw it clearly: the larger parts of the other minicon’s remains were made of the same material as some particularly realistic toys and dolls.

The last thing to fall down was his helm, which rolled up against one of Nickel’s wheels and stared at her with an empty smile on the visor ruined by a crack.

Nickel screamed.

  
  


***

  
  


"Nickel..."

"No, no, no-"

"Nickel?"

" _ NO!... _ "

Totally awake but still haunted by her nightmare, Nickel found herself sitting on the berth slightly shaking, her eyes grainy with fear.

This time, contrary to when she had dreamt of the monstrous creature, Bustin was next to her and looked at her worried, but this didn’t calm her down that much.

"You're  _ real _ , right?" she managed to babble "You're not made out of doll parts, right?".

"Everything was normal last time I checked," said Bustin, caressing her helm. "Whatever you saw was just a nightmare”.

"It started well, I relived our first meeting exactly as it went," said Nickel, still shaken. "Then we left the café, we were about to go for a walk and...".

Nickel didn't want to add anything else, so she shut up and squeezed herself in the blankets. When Bustin hugged her, she was relieved to feel that he was actually made of metal.

"This confirms what we had understood a long time ago: no horror movies before recharging for you" the other minicon said simply .

"With all that I see in the clinic everyday it's absurd that horror movies do that to me!" she sighed "I'm ridiculous".

"You're not ridiculous, Nickel," said Bustin. "Just, now that we have confirmation, we know what is best to avoid”.

"Yes… I agree" murmured Nickel, "Let's go back to recharge, or at least try. Luckily you're here and I'm not alone" she even let it slip away.

"Are you sure you’re lucky? I was part of your nightmare".

Mumbling convincingly a "Don't talk nonsense", Nickel lay down and curled up against Bustin on the berth. 

It would have taken her a while to slip back to recharge, but she was convinced she would succeed: she knew she was safe in his arms.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose you believed that this chapter was without oddities.Take solace, up to a certain point I believed it too, my intention was to write about their very first meeting (which I actually did) and nothing else, thanks to the fact that the chronology of this story is unravelled.   
> But then, well, here we are.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who reads, leaves kudos ad all <3 hope you're staying safe!


	5. Amicus Omnibus, Amicus Nemini

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A friend to everybody is a friend to nobody"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously I had said that the chapters would be published in a quite random chronological order; so far I have gone quite in a row, but the chapter you are going to read is precisely an example of random chronological order. This chapter takes place before all those you have already read, precisely just before Nickel and Bustin went to live together. Do not expect particular action or anything, here we talk about Nickel’s family :)  
> Also: I've adapted people dimensions to TFP's canon. In TFP canon femmes are quite short, I mean, think about Arcee and Megatron :'D so minicons here have more less a human dimension, and Bustin is tall as a tall norwegian man :'D  
> Have a good reading!

When Nickel thought of something always unchanging in their chaotic Universe, her mind immediately ran to Prion's countryside.

Although there were more urbanized than rural areas in the colony, there were many minicons who lived happily in the latter, among rivers of oil, fauna that several of the city folks had never seen and techno-organic plants that usually were as decorative as sources of food. The fruits were not made of the same material as the organic fruits on other planets -fruits that Transformers, as mecha, could not even eat- but she was sure that in terms of taste they were better than the organic ones, especially those of her family's orchard, created a few generations ago and where the majority of her relatives worked; and these very relatives were the reason why she and Bustin were passing by the countryside's narrow streets.

Although Nickel had moved to the city some time ago to study medicine - with profit: she had always taken all the exams on time and had only one level left to graduate - she still considered very important the ties with her family. She had been raised with "traditional" values that were well rooted in her personality and, at the same time, with the awareness of two things: that she would always be free to choose her own path and that, whatever it was, she had all the skills to undertake it.

Her gratitude for this was infinite, because by getting to know other people and hearing their stories she had discovered that these things were anything but obvious. Other people could not even take for granted that their family wanted the best for them.

"The best… which, in this case, means putting Bustin under scrutiny," she thought, resting her neck against the seat.

She had spoken early on about Bustin to her parents. Knowing her to be a down-to-earth person and therefore without the tendency to hang out with bad people, they had been happy for her. Now, however, there was a beginning of cohabitation on the horizon, a sign that things were getting particularly serious, so the whole family - consisting of parents, grandparents, grandmothers, eleven uncles in all, seven great-uncle and the various cousins who had not moved elsewhere on Prion - wanted to meet him, and Nickel felt rather anxious.

"... _ ’Cause the eyes of a ranger are upon youuuuuu, any wrong you do he's gonna seeee! _ ...".

Bustin sang Wallop Prion Ranger's theme song at the top of his lungs while driving. 

Probably, Nickel thought, she was feeling the anxiety that he, instead, did not feel at all. She hoped everything would go well, and her rational side thought "Why shouldn't it?", but Bustin, though not her first partner, was the first one she introduced to her family.

Nickel had already decided that she would stay with him even if her grandparents would’ve started throwing fruit at him for some reason - her life, her partner, her choice - but she would have preferred everyone to like each other.

"...-to go home".

"Hmm? Sorry, Bustin, I didn't realize you were talking," said the minicon.

"I thought you were happy to go home, but you seem to me more thoughtful than anything else. You were all along, since we left the city," said Bustin. 

"I am happy, actually. It's just that they'd never wanted to meet any of the guys I've been with, this is the first time, I told you," she replied. "Well, my relationship with the others never lasted long enough to think about a cohabitation. By the way, are you really sure-"

"I would be happy to share with you what would become  _ our _ home, I have already told you many times. If I hadn't been sure, I wouldn't have even talked about it," he replied, understanding where Nickel was going to ask him "Should I think that you're the one who's not convinced?" he added then, in an amused tone.

"WHAT?! I  _ am _ convinced! I want to live with you!" replied the minicon "I was just asking myself if you realize how'll be to share your personal space every day with another person, because..."

"When I first saw your house it seemed too big, and you seemed too small and too lonely in there. How can you live there alone? Sometimes even my little room at the dorm seems big to me" she thought.

"...you seem to love the idea of having a lot. Of space, I mean," concluded Nickel.

"I don't deny that, but there's no problem: you're a tiny girlfriend, so you won't take up much space".

"Come to think of it, maybe staying at the dorm will be fine" she replied with a glance, but didn't remove the hand that Bustin had placed on her left thigh "But really, are you sure? Do you really have no problem with this?"

"Not at all. The road to take is the one on the right?" the minicon asked her, pointing out a path which is a little dirt and a little uphill.

Nickel nodded and, once on the path, it took them only five minutes to reach their destination.

The house hadn't changed since the last time Nickel had been there: in the middle of the orchard was a cluster of rustic style houses - however, "rustic" as something built by transformers could be - that stood around a large inner courtyard where the family used to gather during some special occasion, or simply when they could, making generous binges prepared by grandmothers, mothers, aunts and great aunts. She could already imagine the long table in the courtyard,  smell the delicious food… and hear the noise of her chaotic family: she didn't know what her cousin Radio had done, but she knew that aunt Pillage's screams were just as powerful as when she was a sparkling.

"Impressive vocal range" commented Bustin once they both got out of the car, picked up the jar of crystalline flowers he had brought and, skilled as a waiter and bartender should be, placed the tray of pastries on the same arm.

"This shouldn't have started like that..." sighed Nickel.

"I don't know much about large families, but I know that if they aren’t noisy there’s something wrong. Don't worry," said Bustin, caressing her faceplate.

Nickel smiled.

"What a beautiful couple you are!" exclaimed a female voice a short distance away from them.

Turning around they saw a couple of minicons, male and female, both resembling Nickel in some traits; that they were her carrier and her sire was obvious. Her father shared with her various physical details -such as the colors and the shape of the head- and her mother had her same optics and expressions. Also, the way she was moving her lilac body with accentuated curves was identical to her daughter’s one, just as their voices were very similar.

Nickel greeted them with a hug, then introduced them to her boyfriend. "He’s Bustin, my fiancé. Bustin, they’re Cesium and Alumina, my parents".

"I am pleased to meet you" said the minicon, shaking hands first with Nickel's mother and then with her father, as Prion etiquette required "Nickel told me a lot about you and how beautiful this place was. She was right as usual," he added, with a smile, "I brought a little present”.

Nickel's carrier took the flowers and the tray of pastries. "That's very kind of you, but there was no reason to bother..."

Nickel noticed both the look in her mother's optics, and also that Bustin had noticed it himself.

"Two meters and three centimeters," he said.

"Hm?... Oh! Ahhm", Alumina coughed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...it's just that you're so tall, for a minicon!...".

"After this he will call me Dwarfie until the end of time, and you too," thought Nickel, briefly raising her optics to the sky.

"I guess you hear this often, isn't it?" asked Nickel's father, with a sympathetic look "I know something about it, boy, trust me. When I was younger it was the same for me, even if I wasn’t  _ that _ tall... a guy like you would have come in handy before, when the best way to pick fruit was doing it by hand. We still do it, in part, it takes delicacy, you know".

"The latest generation of automated harvesters, however, has a fine reputation," remarked Bustin. "The F25 model with extendable arms from the Atlach-Nacha company, for example...".

"And what does he know about fruit-picking machines?!" thought Nickel, astonished.

Even if she had wanted to say something to Bustin, she couldn't have: Cesium, thrilled to talk about the orchard with someone outside the family, had started a dense conversation -more like a monologue- with Bustin and was taking him away.

"... and over there are my favorite trees in the whole orchard, I'll show you".

"Nickel and Bustin had quite a long journey, wouldn't it be appropriate to let them rest?! You and the orchard, Cesium!..." snorted Nickel's carrier.

"Perhaps you're right," admitted the other minicon, a little embarrassed "I got carried away, I’m sorry… and we wouldn’t even have had time, in half an hour we're having dinner".

"And it smells delicious already, Sir..."

"No "Sir.", Cesium will do well... at least I can show him the inner courtyard?" he asked his wife.

"He would have seen him at dinner, but if you want to... aaand they’re gone" Alumina commented. "Poor Bustin, I hope your father won't make him too uncomfortable".

"It takes much more than that to make him uncomfortable" Nickel said "He works with the public too, as a bartender, you know, in that kind of job you see everything".

She realized that her anxiety hadn't been due to the fact that her family might not like Bustin, but it was exactly the opposite. What Nickel was worried about was the idea that _he_ didn't like them and so, knowing that this wouldn't be the last time he would have to deal with them if they stayed together, could decide to end their relationship.

On a rational level, however, she knew that Bustin loved her and wouldn't ever do such a thing. Also, he always tried to keep her calm. Actually, he himself was always always so calm, so nice and caring with her!

And he was so friendly and/or playful with everyone else, just like he had been with his parents and with the regulars at the Crawling Mist - the club where he worked part time. She was pretty sure that if others had to talk about Bustin, they would say that he was a friend of everyone... but, come to think of it, she had never heard her fiancé refer to anyone other than "acquaintance".

Perhaps Bustin was a friend to everyone but friends with no one, and she was his most meaningful connection with another person, if not  _ the only one, _ who could really be defined as meaningful. Perhaps he had been like that ever since he was left alone, without his family.

The thought that Bustin was very lonely - apart from her - became even more concrete in her brain module, as well as his determination to make that change. She would work hard so that he could begin to consider her family as loved ones, and in the near future they would create a family of their own.

Without making too much of an effort, Nickel could already imagine herself as a wife, as a carrier and as a doctor. Prion colony policies allowed all minicons to have both work and family, so couples with three or four children were normal -and this wasn’t making the colony uninhabitable due to lack of space or resources. 

Those fantasies would become reality for her and Bustin too.

"Nickel?... Prion calling Nickel!"

"What... did you say something, Mom?"

"You were thinking about your boyfriend, right? You're  _ so _ into him... if they had told me some time ago, I would hardly have believed I could see you like that".

"Why? I'm not anaffective" said Nickel, a bit perplexed. "And he's not my first boyfriend".

"No, but you've always been a down-to-earth person. At least your daydreams are about a minicon who seems to be well-behaved... and ‘does his homework’, I'd say," remarked Alumina. "A technician and bartender who knows things about the fruit-picking machinery isn't something you see every day. That's what I said while you weren't listening. Not that there’s something wrong in trying to make a good impression, of course".

"Yeah… but this isn’t the first time I've heard him talk about things far outside what he does, and not as an ignorant," said Nickel. "He's interested in a lot of things, you can talk to him about a lot of things, that's one of the reasons why he’s my boyfriend”.

"This is certainly interesting" he recognized the other minicon "We will all get to know him better during dinner, I guess. Who knows if he'll surprise us more!"

***

"...may Micronus curse thee, I give thee a slap, damn, whore your carrier..."

"It's your carrier too-"

" _ Te copo _ , Micronus can'! You had to drop the ace of spades, YOU MOROOOOOON!"

Nickel, with a hand covering her faceplate and the desire to go and bury herself somewhere, slightly widened her fingers to ogle the obvious conclusion of the card game between his two grandparents, three of his great-uncle and Bustin: insults to their carriers, death threats - "Te copo"- and curses. Now her paternal grandfather and one of her great-uncles had grabbed the chairs.

"I told my father we had to keep grandpa away from the cards," thought Nickel.

The fight had degenerated rather quickly, so three other players had got up and gone back to drinking hig grade energon, as were doing most of her uncles and older cousins - as if they hadn't drink enough during dinner - and Bustin seemed quite intrigued by the spectacle he was watching after putting himself at a safe distance.

"This was one of the things that wasn't supposed to happen," said Nickel after she approached him.

"Why?" replied Bustin, in a very amused tone, "It's beautiful!”

Nickel's grandfather, after getting up on the table with the chair, jumped on his brother with a war cry that would have made a Kaon gladiator envious.

"HEY!" shouted Nickel, who had had enough of it, getting in the middle of the fight, "Knock it off, you two! You've already put on quite a show”.

"Nickel, [poppet](http://it.dicios.com/enit/poppet) , a game of valtti that doesn't end with a chair fight is not a real game of valtti! Hey kid!" exclaimed Nickel's grandfather, addressing Bustin, "Pull up a chair!”

" _ NO _ don't take it! Don't you even try it" Nickel blocked him, seeing him approaching a chair "Let's go back to-"

" _ Heeeeeeeeeeelp! _ " exclaimed one of Nickel's cousins from above one of the roofs of the complex. How he ended up there was a mystery, since he wasn't a flyer, but the high grade energon could cause that and more.

A female cousin of Nickel approached Bustin. "Sorry for asking, but you wouldn't happen to be able to pull that fool down, would you? He ends up on the rooftops every time he drinks... and here nobody knows where the ladder has gone".

"No problem. It's not the first time I've been asked for help with things like this," replied the other minicon, "Sometimes at the Crawling Mist much stranger things happen”.

"Surely you don't get bored often..."

"Definitely!" confirmed Bustin, quietly flying over the roof.

"He's tall, he's cute, he flies..." began to list Nickel's cousin, watching Bustin recover her drunk cousin with a little too much attention.

"And he's  mine ," Nickel interrupted her dryly. "And your sparkmate is here somewhere".

"If you didn't want people looking at your boyfriend, you could have chosen one a little less interesting. Compared to the minicons I know, he's seen _so much_... he's got interesting topics to talk about during dinner!"

Nickel could not disagree with her cousin on that point. Bustin, compared to the average minicon, had seen several cities not only of Prion, but also of Cybertron, including satellite city-States such as Nova Chronum and Praxus -obviously for work and always before meeting her during their studies in faculty.

He had told several interesting stories, some of them known to her, others not, and all the time he was able both to lead the conversation -the crossfire- and the curiosity of grandmothers, aunts and great aunts. Nickel had hoped that he would be able to because, besides being curious, the women in her family were also stubborn; but Bustin, when she warned him about the subjects he would meet, had reassured her by telling her that he had enough experience with that kind of people - "And with crowds in general", he added, certainly referring to those in the club.

"You should bring him here more often, Nicole!" Aunt Pillage interfered.

"Nickel.  _ N- i- c- k- e- l _ . Is it possible that she still calls me by the wrong name?!" thought the minicon.

"The last time I saw someone eating that much and with such gusto was when your grandfather had several less vorn on his back" continued aunt Pillage "These are people for whom it is a pleasure to cook!”

"Last night he was on duty at the club, when it’s like this he usually eats five times more than usual the next day. And even normally he doesn't eat like a lilleth" pondered Nickel.

"And for me it’s a pleasure to eat! Here we go," said Bustin, laying Nickel's cousin on the ground.

"Radio! Of course it was you, who else could have been?!" puffed aunt Pillage, "Thank you, Bustin" she said, leaving and dragging Radio with her. The other cousin followed them too.

This time it was Nickel's father who approached with uncertain steps. "Then, we were saying, those trees of the orr...of the orrc...of the orchard, there, those trees of the-"

"Daddy, you should go to sleep, you're a little too drunk" huffed Nickel "Maybe someone should take you back inside..."

"If you need to go ahead, I'll wait for you here," Bustin told her, and she left with her father.

Noticing Bustin alone, Alumina joined him with a shot of high grade. "Want some?”

"Yes, thank you," smiled the minicon. "It's a really nice party, I'm having a great time. Unfortunately Nickel prevented me from joining the chairs battle, maybe I’ll do the next time".

"Some of the mechs in this family take valtti games very seriously. So, Nickel told me that you accepted the invitation to spend the night here".

"That's right. The journey from here to the city is quite long, I thought it could be tiring for her. You are very kind to host us... or perhaps it is better to say host me: for Nickel this is and always will be her home. And soon my home will also become ‘ours’. I was happy when I asked her and she said yes”.

"Sure! I think she is very excited, it's the first time for her".

"For me too it is, it will be a nice adventure for both of us".

"Do you know that for some reason I took it for granted that it wasn’t the first time for you? I guess it’s due to the fact you've had a life full of experiences" Alumina said "More than the majority of the minicons older than you have had. Honestly I'm surprised that someone who finished his studies with the highest score, as Nickel told me, and who already worked on other planets, is still here in Prion" said Alumina "The vast majority of us minicons have no intention to expatriate, but some would sell their soul to Unicron in order to have such possibilities, and from someone who has already traveled so much I would have expected this”.

Bustin smiled. "Did you prefer me to be elsewhere? I thought you liked me!"

"Wha-"

"I'm joking. I understand you, and I admit that my initial plan was to leave. I had already decided the destination and everything'' said Bustin "But then I changed my plans and decided to stay here, for Nickel, of course. I am lucky enough to be able to choose, and between her and the best job in Iacon I would choose Nickel without hesitation”.

"Hey! You’re tall, so can you pull those down?" shouted one of the cousins from a certain distance, pointing at a large container of sweets finished who knows how on the branch of a tree. 

Better not to ask questions.

"I think they're calling me! If I may..."

"Sure, Bustin, go ahead."

Alumina let him go away, but continued to observe him. She didn't have any criticism to move to that minicon, he seemed a good person, he didn't lack the will to work, seemed to be well-off and, from the way he was talking to Nickel and from the gestures she had seen him do towards her, it was intuitable that he loved and cared about her; nevertheless, that vague halo of mystery that Alumina was seeing on her daughter's fiancé hadn't dissipated at all, and it was ridiculous since she had talked with everyone all the time.

"Maybe it's just my impression. We know who he is, we know where he studied, we know what he does, I found out that the fanfiction on Wallop that I bookmarked is his, what else should he have been talking about? His mask? Who, while meeting his girlfriend's parents, ever starts talking about unpleasant topics?" she thought, mindful of the fact that Nickel had mentioned an accident or something like that "I'm just paranoid because my only daughter has decided to move in his house, but I have to stop being an idiot and be happy that she's fallen in love with a good person. That’s it".

***

"So... are you sure you had a good time?"

"Sure, Nicky. I had fun, I like your family."

The berth in the old Nickel's room was enough to accommodate both of them for that night. Sometimes being a "compact" minicon - in a manner of speaking, because she actually wasn't a shortie - came in handy. In that bedroom there were still all her plushes and her stuff from when she was a sparkling, but she still liked it and wasn't even a bit ashamed of it. Not with him.

"I want to be honest with you, I was afraid that all those aunts and cousins etc. were a bit too many for you. And maybe too much. Don't get me wrong, I adore my relatives even when they get drunk and dance on the table, but you are not used to these things. I mean, maybe you see similar scenes at the Crawling Mist with some regulars, but it’s different when you’re in a, well..."

"Family?

Nickel nodded, "For you it's different than usual, I think”.

"If I have to deal with my more-or-less-close acquaintances it is always for some practical reason, today the reason was just me, instead. It was different than usual but I really appreciated it, I felt part of the group".

"If you liked it we could also form a slightly smaller group" said Nickel.

"That's what we are going to do, we are going to live together. I'm looking forward to it!"

"Me too, but that's not all I meant. I've mentioned it to you several times, you know I'd like to start a family myself..."

"With whom?"

"...'with whom'?  _ WITH YOU _ , dummy!" puffed the minicon.

"I don't think I'm suited to be a sire," said Bustin, "Or to want sparklings, especially now that-"

"Maybe not now, I want to finish studying first and get the job I’ve always dreamed of, but then I would like to have sparklings. I want it very much, if I had been a little less rational or simply older I would have wanted some sparklings from you long ago".

"Seeing where and how you grew up I understand, but not all families are as lucky as yours. Some have a destiny that many people would find _quite unpleasant_ for various reasons. You should think about it".

At the moment Bustin didn’t support her idea of having sparklings, even before he had never shown much conviction, but Nickel did not feel angry about it. The only feeling she felt was sorry, and not for the lack of support, but for  _ him _ . She did not know exactly what had happened to him and his family but it must have been a great trauma, otherwise he would have spoken differently.

She held him more tightly and hugged him. "Now is not the time, anyway, and in the future maybe you’ll change your mind. Things don't have to go wrong".

"That's gonna be tough".

"It's just the trauma and fear talking. In the future he will be convinced that even with a family things can go well" thought Nickel.

"And anyway you might decide to leave me after the first week of cohabitation, as far as we know" added Bustin "Maybe you'll get bored with the time I spend in the bathroom getting ready!”

"There's more than one bathroom in the house," Nickel replied.

"True. Now I say we recharge, tomorrow morning we’ll have to get up early enough. Good night, Dwarfie”.

"Good night”.

And shortly after this Nickel slipped into recharging, dreaming of a future that for more than one reason there would never be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was longer than the others, yes.  
> Nickel's relatives are basically from Veneto, yes :'D  
> Thanks to those who are having the patience to read :)


	6. Circa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Almost".
> 
> Well, this is the final chapter! Thanks to whoever read the story :)

The day was giving way in the evening, he was alone in the house and his suitcases were ready. He had not put many things in them, only those that were in some parts of his closet.

"I shouldn't be here".

The whole Prion was in turmoil and was even more populated than usual: there was a festival to celebrate the “birth” of their colony, so all the minions scattered throughout the cosmos had returned home. Prionians were a proud race and very tied to their roots, there was no minicon who would miss the festival, not even those who felt less attached to their homeland.

"I shouldn't be here".

Since the morning he had been haunted by that feeling, but he had tried to ignore it and enjoy the party with Nickel.

"Nickel..."

Bustin looked at the hairy purple carpet near the bed, his mate's bedside table and the few essential things that were on it, so in contrast to the number of the stained glass figurines that she had put on a series of shelves; then he looked to the holo-photos,  _ a lot _ of holo-photos, a lot as the good times spent together were. He had in his personal devices a copy of each of them. 

"Nickel, I..."

Times as such would never come back: there was only one Nickel all over the Universe, and he was going to leave her, to abandon her. 

When they were at the festival he had left with an excuse, she had told him "See you later"... it was a pity that for them there would not be any "later". That was a farewell.

He looked down.

"I’m sorry".

It was a month or so ago that he had begun to think that maybe carrying on their relationship was not a good idea.

Not because he had stopped having feelings for her, maybe he wouldn't have been able to eradicate them even if he wanted to and if he tried: maybe Nickel hadn't been his first interest towards femmes, but she had been the only one for whom he felt something real, or even  _ more  _ than "something". Before her he had never thought he was capable of it, something like that had never happened to him.

"I can't give you what you want. I don't feel like becoming a sire, it wouldn't be time anyways, and even if it was, in good conscience, I still couldn't say yes to you".

Several times he had spoken out against starting a family when the subject came up, but Nickel did not give in. In fact, she was at it again just a few hours earlier. Honestly, he could understand her: she had grown up surrounded by the affection of a family, and in Prion it was normal to start one, so now that she had a career, that they had a big house and a stable relationship she probably believed that he answered “no” out of fear. It wasn't exactly like that but it was one of those things that would have been  _ very difficult _ to explain to her.

Maybe he should have put her in front of a precise choice once and for all: choose to stay with him knowing that they would not have sparklings, or choose to part ways. The second choice would have hurt both of them, so much so that Bustin did not know which answer it would be more selfish to hope to receive, and-

_ "I shouldn't be here!” _

Maybe he should have talked to her before that thought started to prick him, because it was too late.

He shouldn't have been there.

The whole “reflecting on what to do” thing in the last month, having that haunting feeling and the thought that it was time to leave on the very day when he would have had more time and a better way to do so because of the chaos of the party: it was obviously destiny.

A notification on his datapad gave him the confirmation that the transfer of ownership of the house - with all that it contained - from him to Nickel had been successful.

"I leave you, but I won't leave you homeless".

She would not have deserved to be abandoned like that, she would at least have had the right to have her say: desire for children aside (which along with that feeling was the reason why he was literally running away) she was the best mate he ever had and could ever hope to have at his side. Bustin was acting like a total scumbag and he knew it very well, so he thought the least he could do was to give her some sort of payout. Not enough, never enough, but better than nothing.

Nickel could have kept their house or sold it, that decision would have been up to her; in any case he could already imagine that the chosen option would have been the second one, and that she would have been able to get many shanix with which she could have bought another house where she wanted, or four smaller ones at the same price, and maybe renting three of them. That, along with her job ad a medic, would have put her in a stable economic position.

"Thank you for everything you have given me, Nickel, it is much more than you can ever imagine. I will not forget it. If only certain things had been different, I..."

Loaded with suitcases, Bustin went out on the balcony and took flight.

"Farewell”.

***

"Bustin? Are you here?... no, he's not here… I'm beginning to worry, he's been gone for a few hours now," mumbled Nickel, alarmed, wandering around the house and finding no one.

Her fiancé seemed to have disappeared from Prion's face without a trace, it was evening and no one had the faintest idea where he had gone, no one had seen him, no one knew anything.

"Perhaps he has already returned to the party. Or perhaps he could be  _ there _ ..."

.::  _ Little outside Prion, time before _ ::.

"What a... curious place".

"Curious? Not abandoned, ruined?"

Just beyond Prion’s borders, hidden by clusters of rocks and techno-organic plants, there were the ruins of a house. Nickel was not a fan of architecture but it didn't take a trained optic to notice that the style of those ruins was different from the one used at that time or a few dozen vorn before; vaguely similar, indeed, but much older. Not even the oldest in Prion, those with a particular historical value, were like that.

"Yes, without a doubt that's all you said, but it's as if..." she squeezed his shoulders and massaged her arms. "It's not the first time you take me to unknown corners of Prion and I usually appreciate them, but this place gives me feelings that I don't understand".

"Good or bad?"

"I don't understand them well, I told you," Nickel repeated while continuing to look around.

As well as ancient, that must have been a big house, maybe even beautiful. The structures that survived to... whatever had happened -Nickel couldn't figure out if something had crashed up there or rather if something had come out from underneath, or if it had exploded, causing everything to collapse- suggested at least four floors, beautiful colonnades and high ceilings. A large staircase consumed by time had been spared by the disaster, but the darkness she could see in the places where the upper floors had not collapsed did not encourage her to deepen her exploration, despite the undeniable curiosity she felt. Another curious fact was the way the techno-organic plants surrounded the house but, at the same time, had not repossessed the land on which it had been built. There was not even a small shrub in the middle of the ruins, there was only dust and rubble.

"I feel like a feeling of... I don't know, familiarity? Which is absurd, because I have never been here," continued Nickel. "And at the same time I feel restless as if there was something strange, or dangerous, or both. 

"There's nothing that can hurt you in here," said Bustin. "Among the various lost corners of Prion, or Prion and its surroundings in this case, I think it's the one I prefer! If it weren't for the distance I would come here more often. In some types of chaos can be found a kind of peace that is unobtainable anywhere else".

"If you say so. Wel,l then... can I be sure that you won't take me to places where something might fall on my head?" asked the minicon, looking around.

"No fear on that count, Dwarfie”.

"Do you know this place well?" she asked then, approaching the staircase, "How long ago did you find it?"

"Enough, but I can't give you a precise date. I only remember that I ended up there because I had heard some old people talking about it, and you know how I am when it comes to certain things," replied Bustin, shrugging. "Otherwise, I can say that I know it almost as well as I know my house... Or rather, our house," he smiled, "I'm really glad to have you there”.

Nickel smiled in turn.

All in all those dark upper floors didn't seem so dangerous anymore, if it was possible she could have even gone up to see them, having Bustin by her side.

.:::  _ Prion, home of Nickel and Bustin, now _ ::.

"He wasn’t in the places he habitually frequents, in the 'lost' places he showed me he wasn't there, his datapad is dead and in  _ that  _ place outside Prion the signal is weak, if it ever arrives there. I saw that when he took me there. Of course, I don't know why he should have gone there, but where else could I look for him?" Nickel thought, determined not to give up, "Maybe something happened to him, I don't know, when he went away he behaved as usual...".

She even thought that perhaps he had returned to the crowd and was looking for her as she was looking for him, but such a thing would have made inexplicable his dead datapad . Nickel was getting more and more worried, her anxiety level had reached a peak, so much so that she promised to beat him up with a screwdriver as soon as she found him and checked that he was okay.

She would go looking for him in the ruins of that house, she had decided.

***

Prion was destroyed that same evening.

To have decided to reach the ruins and to have slipped as deeply as possible into the half-destroyed basements of the house was a salvation and a condemnation for Nickel: her life was spared but, at the same time, she was cursed to remember.

To remember the happy faces of her family and friends during the feast, to remember her home and all that she had lost, to remember a “See you later” that because of an anti-mecha organization had become a farewell.

To remember that she was the only living Prionian in the whole Universe.

Almost.

  
  



End file.
